In the past, children were seen as mini adults, and now the pendulum has been swinging another way from
Young people are being seen as overgrown children from
. You may have heard of injuries as a very intestine parent - whether it means a tiger mother or a spiral mother. Now you may want to know from
What should you expect from your child? from
? Independence signs in early childhood - sitting, walking, potty training, etc. - got a lot of discussion, but the reasonable expectations for our older children are not so clear. What should our early teen/high school children do on their own?
I started to see this from the children. opinions. This reminds me of the literary works of the children I grew up with. Many of my favorite books are all about from
Young people are responsible for independence - often away from parents from
. Let's start with Enid Blyton's famous five series. Starting with five people on Treasure Island, five cousins spent an adventure in the summer and took an adventure. There are family bases that offer meals and check-in for kids, but the assumption of adults seems to be that as long as they are in the fresh air, together they are generally good no matter what they are. inside Swallows and Amazon In Arthur Ransome's book, six children were allowed to camp on a small island in the middle of the lake. They cook on open fires and deal with local "locals" [children refer to adults] to get supplies. Another popular example of children performing tasks is Mixed file from Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler Author: EL Konigsburg These are two kids from the suburbs and fled to New York City from
Who handled it very well? from
. In all of these books, children have the support of friends, cousins or siblings, aged between 9 and 13. For me, the common theme is from
a] Children are generally considered to be very capable b] they relish the opportunity to show whether they are capable of taking care of themselves from
.
When children are few, we will realize that they need to take care of their own things. We don't want babies to learn to sit, walk, talk, and use the potty themselves. Day after day, month after month, we train them and encourage them to take further action. We also have a passion for every new thing they learn. However, these days, once the child goes to school - whether it is preschool or kindergarten - we tend to focus only on their academic and extracurricular progress. from
Once they learn their shoes, just as they were frozen in childhood, we are still taking care of everything else for them. from
. The result is that when they go to college or enter the world, we let them do a lot of learning. from
Is it more meaningful to bring them to a continuum of self-care and autonomy from the beginning? from
?
Based on the twelve years as a seventh-grade teacher, I know very well whether children aged 11-14 are capable, if anyone expects them and their parents to spend time teaching them in stages. The following are the top ten responsibilities that my primary school should accept.
1. Get up, dress up and wash your face
Are you still calling your child to school? stop! Their job should be to set up their own alerts, pick the right clothes, and have good washing and brushing procedures. Your only job should be to introduce deodorant when needed and support the school's dress code.
2. Make your own breakfast
Children certainly have the ability to get their own cereal, toast, frozen waffles, etc. If your family runs a hot breakfast, this is great. Children can also learn to make pancakes and eggs by practicing. Start with eighty-nine and let them work with you. Simulation steps. I heard you say that they don't have time to prepare. It would be easier if I just did it for them. Of course, it is easier and faster not to spend time in providing children with the skills they need in the short term. In the long run, it won't pay off. [Although I am talking about food, I have to teach you five or six-year-old children to cut meat with a knife.
3. Make your own lunch
Do you think your child is having lunch? I spent several years! - Teach students not to lose perfect food. Do you know what their answer is? When I go home and don't eat what she packs, my mother doesn't like it. . So the children are not talking about why they don't eat the conversation they provide, but to abandon the evidence. Children who pack their own lunches will pack the food they know they will eat. They know what to pack and how much to pack.
4. Go to school by yourself
Ok, you may be hesitant about this. I know that many children no longer go to nearby schools, and few school districts provide buses. There are still ways to keep children independent. First, stop being responsible for checking if they remember everything they need for the day. They are big enough to track them by themselves - if they are not, the natural consequences of not remembering will be faster than your embarrassment and reminders. Even if you are driving your child to school, give them anonymity and let them leave three or four blocks. This ten-minute walk will give them at least a little bit of freedom - you will make the school happy by improving the drop/lifting congestion.
5. Do your homework
The sooner you let your child manage their homework, the better. So how do you stand? Help them build a workplace and daily work. When they ask for help, encourage them to attack by asking for supportive questions: How can you get close to this? What is the required task? How does this task relate to other tasks you do? What strategy can you use here? Q - then return. Give your child a chance to do it on their own. Provide a lot of guarantees, he will figure it out. If he has spent a considerable amount of time [a total of 10 minutes per grade is a good overall recommendation - but this is a complete other blog], so that he can go to school without completing the situation. Help him set up a folder-like method to turn in. Initially you can check it into folders and folders to get into the backpack, but in the third or fourth grade, if the child is not closed, they are not responsible for their own learning. [This is not to say that at the beginning of each new school year, it may not be necessary to check in with your child's system again.]
6. Do some cooking and some cleaning
In the past, children had to help with housework just to keep their families alive. In fact, the need for extra hands is one of the reasons for having a big family. Then for a long time, this is not true. Modernization means that the machine is taking over some work and there is nothing to do. Many mothers can stay at home to look after family and family. Since the pendulum has moved backwards and 70% of the mothers are working, the family that everyone has invested in will be happier. Children may be embarrassed to do housework, but they hate to put more emphasis on parental pressure. Let your child participate in the daily tasks of cooking and cleaning, and they will be proud to know that they have made a positive contribution to the family. Need means you are important, and without you, your family can't pass. This gives the children a great sense of security. Knowing that you can take care of yourself can also enhance your own value.
7. Choose your own electives and extracurricular activities
Parents find a good balance between encouraging children to try new things and sticking to long enough activities to make sure they feel truly fulfilled. But in the end, you don't want to know if your child has found something they really like? It's not something that looks good on their college app, or it helps them adults - even what they really excel - but just something that makes them fully involved and alive. This summer, I had a sad conversation with a teenager. He started playing two sports: her mother likes one; her father likes another. When she needs to choose one and only one because of time constraints, she feels that she is choosing between making a parent happy or another. I asked her if she was crazy about the sport. She said she likes to hang out with her friends in the team, but no, she doesn't just like it. Imagine spending a few hours pursuing what she likes.
8. Talk to the teacher to get instructions about the assignment, ask for help, and ask questions about the comments and grades.
Your child's teacher is his first boss. Academic programs that your child has not studied are more important than learning to negotiate with the teacher. Learning to communicate with people who are more powerful than you is an essential life skill, and practicing with the teacher is a great opportunity: the teacher may have power, but she is very motivated to make your child successful. [After] all, his success is her success]. Role play and rehearsal can help children build this relationship when they need something the teacher provides. The more he can interact with the teacher, the easier it is. A child can only be represented if your child has tried some interaction and has not made any progress. Once again, our goal is not to let the child break free from any feelings...
Orignal From: Youth independence: 10 things your child should do by middle school himself
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