What makes your grandparents uncomfortable? Given all the fun that comes at this stage of life [see the MFC newsletter in April 2006], what difficulties will grandparents have? I have heard a few answers to this question, they all mentioned FEAR.
A woman told me that grandparents are difficult because "I don't want to impose." I worry that her presence may cause nuisance to her family, which prevents her from relying on her visit or calling to prevent her from invading. As she waited to be invited, she was finally suffering in silence. In addition, even if invited, she is not willing to accept, because she is not sure that the invitation is sincere.
Another worry is, "I don't want to show that I don't have the ability." They are proud of their own life, but it is really difficult to face the restrictions of the elderly. Grandparents may wish to maintain their image by continuing to do everything for themselves, no matter how difficult it is.
Finally, "I don't want to be a burden." For many grandparents, this is the most important "B". Most grandparents [most of whom are women] are caring for the younger generation throughout their lives; they are afraid to become ' takers' instead of providers. '
My response to these concerns is, "You have work to do. You need. Don't let your fears hinder us!"
Let us imagine that you work in the company's management and you need to prepare for important meetings. Are you planning to type in the next four hours? No! You will have other people doing this! You will ask for help. Because that person can be completed in an hour, you need four hours to complete.
"But," you said, "I will pay that person a salary to help."
Ok, that's the key to our problem solving. Through years of money, physical and emotional support, you have paid the wages of those who will help you. It is time to hold the debt. Your child is very interested in you. from
The next generation is grateful to the previous generation.
When your child confesses their obligation to you - by doing things for you that you can't do again - they in turn feel better about themselves. Most importantly, they are role models for their children, who see their parents helping their grandparents and remember the lessons of the next few years.
Grandparents, continue to do what you know how to do the best. Your value to your family and community exceeds all physical limits. You are the company's "CEO" and all of its members need your experience, insight, wisdom and love.
Grandparents: danger
In your life, you need to consider more relationships now. Each relationship is a potential treasure or mine.
The first is your relationship with your child, and the child is also a parent. What happens when you disagree with what your child is doing? What do you do when you see something that you are not comfortable with?
If possible, don't say anything in front of your grandchildren. If you want to say something, please do so privately.
Another very important relationship in the negotiations is "in-laws," son-in-law or daughter-in-law. It is vital that the child is placed in the key to having to choose between parents and partners.
I know you need to do a lot of swallowing surgery. Sometimes it makes breathing hard. Keeping your critical thoughts and expressing only positive thoughts requires a lot of practice. We can't redo other people; the only thing we can do is figure out what we should do.
Finally, let us check your relationship with your grandchildren. You may feel that "the times have changed." The difference in your relationship is very different from the relationship you remember with your grandparents. Is the gap between generations greater than in previous centuries?
Yes, the gap between certain stages of life, especially among adolescents and grandparents, has widened. Technology has changed the face and speed of communication. Few grandchildren go to their grandparents to go home on Sunday dinner [please remember "Little Red Riding Hood and Wolf?"].
Life has changed dramatically, and your grandchildren may have a hard time understanding your world. Then turn around. Try to understand their world. Understand what they are involved in so that you have something to discuss. Learning and love.
But what if you feel that one of your parents is threatened by a close relationship with your child? Again, it is important to be sensitive to your feelings. Let them participate in your plan, ask for your grandchildren; tell them about your plans so they don't feel out of place. They need to feel their own children, often out of insecurity. Your child needs your attention and praise, just like your grandson!
Orignal From: Grandparents: fear
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