The extent of our self-esteem depends on how much we like and accept ourselves. A self-respecting person will be content with their peace as a person. Their self-esteem has nothing to do with the extent to which others like or agree with them, because their own value comes from within. This is an internal understanding.
If I tell you I think you have green hair and lose some self-esteem? No - because you know you don't have green hair. Therefore, my comments or comments are not of any importance or validity to you. You will only reconcile with yourself, you have no green hair, and your self-esteem will remain the same.
However, if I comment on you in a field where you already have some self-doubt, then you may have a different response.
What if I imply that I think you are not a good parent or good friend? Will this make you lose your self-esteem? If you already suspect that you are a good parent or a good friend, then it may be suspected. If my comments touch areas where you are not sure about your value or ability as a parent or friend, then you don't need to keep your self-esteem intact.
Self-esteem is not affected by events or what people say or do, but what you tell yourself afterwards. We think there are 5,000 ideas per hour on average. Brian Tracy in "Achievement Psychology" cites an astonishing statistic - 77% of our self-talks are negative. If you think negatively about yourself 77% of the time, how healthy is your self-esteem?
Because your self-esteem is based on your inner love and acceptance, logically, you are the only one who has the ability to build or destroy your self-esteem. You do this through positive or negative things that you think or tell yourself.
Many people think that people have the ability to make them feel sad or sad. This is not true! We can choose to respond, not accepting or allowing people to say something to touch our sense of self-acceptance and value. Eleanor Roosevelt said: "No one will make you feel inferior without your consent."
We can always choose the way we respond and feel. Our response will depend on us telling ourselves after any event or interaction. It is this choice that will be a factor in building or undermining our self-esteem.
Orignal From: How to build or destroy self-esteem?
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