When you meet a narcissistic person for a short time, you may not realize that this person has a personality disorder, which is characterized by self-absorption and lack of sympathy for others. However, when you become the target of narcissistic abuse and build relationships with this person, your daily life becomes chaotic and painful.
Before discussing how you can rebuild your self-esteem, let's take a moment to describe the behavior of a narcissist and what to do for those who may not know the meaning of the term. A person with a narcissistic personality disorder has experienced life, always needs to be proven, and tells them that they are more exciting and smarter than anyone else, and everyone is entitled to the best treatment. If they think this sentence is an insult, they can easily get angry and get angry quickly. When they are eager to get attention and recognition, they are usually good at becoming fascinating when they want someone else's things, and then if they are rejected, they almost become very angry immediately. They quickly judged others as inferior and liked to use racism to devalue and devalue other groups.
For example, a narcissist feels better than others and usually says "the masses are blind!"
Although some people like to say that a narcissist is a person with excessive self-love or vanity, in fact this is not just a definition of expression. To learn more, you must understand how the disease begins, and usually indicate in the definition of the disease that it begins in early childhood trauma, at a stage where the child should develop a healthy self-awareness. . Instead, the child forms this view, usually because of abusive treatment, including neglect. He is not good enough in his own way and needs to create a "perfect" role to show the world the most important recognition. The child desires.
As an adult, narcissists usually have a public role, "good man" or "wonderful lady" because they like [and need] the worship they can get from others with such fun and enjoyment. Often, narcissists do benefit others, but then want to get a higher reward.
If you are closely related to a narcissist, you will soon find that no matter how much attention and love you have for this person, this is not enough. He or she always asks more and more, complaining that you are selfish, indifferent and unresponsive. When you are in this relationship, this is a win-win situation for you. Your self-esteem is condemned every day, as if you are his oral punch!
In order to heal the abuse of narcissism, you must first end or limit your connection with this person. If you are married or have a close relationship with a narcissist, then the best pursuit of your mental and emotional health is to leave. If the narcissist is a relative or someone who works with you, learn to limit the time you spend at the company and learn how to set boundaries so that you can confidently say what you think.
Now, provide 5 tips to help you start rebuilding your self-esteem and make it stronger than before you were involved in a narcissist.
1. Understand that narcissists are patients. This is not an excuse for their actions, but it is an explanation that will help you release their comments and treat you instead of persisting in pain. Be aware that even if their attacks feel very personal, those narcissistic angry comments show a patient without real love skills. The comments they make are not a true assessment or evaluation of you as a person.
2. Spend some time in the next few days or weeks writing down the harmful events or specific statements he made in the journal or computer documentation. Write them down. Then think of them as words spoken by strangers. Usually, narcissists make crazy accusations and irrational comments. These comments mean that you fall to the ground and make you feel bad about yourself, as if you have no value. But now what I want you to do is to look at some of the examples you have written and ask what happens if strangers say this to you. Most of the time, what you find is that comments are completely ridiculous! Their power to you is in the body language and tone of the language they use, and the way they laugh at what you cherish. This exercise will help you release all those old pains and let them drift away in the breeze. Don't repeat his words in your mind again and again, figure out what he might mean, because it keeps the pain as if he is still abusing you. He meant to hurt you. These words are just the weapons he uses to control and control you. By controlling you, he feels stronger at least in a moment when you cringe or react, and with this power, he has a short-lived experience, feeling that he is "nothing", not that he thinks he is so poor and inferior. people. Never admit it.
3. Busy, active exercise, exercise, reading useful books, going out with friends, learning new hobbies, or cooking new dishes you've always wanted to try. Avoid sitting there and feel sorry for yourself and want to know what problems you have. Most likely, the narcissist chooses you as his or her goal because you have many wonderful qualities that they lack and actually envy you. You may be a very kind and compassionate person, and the abuser has played your generosity and knows that they can count on you to stay and to forgive them again and again.
Are you still breathing? Relationships with narcissistic abusers can be devastating, but please note that you are still alive, which means you have more to do, enjoy this life, and avoid abuse. Part of your innate right is that you should enjoy the life you really like, where you make your dreams come true and happier than you think. You can achieve a transition from victim to winner by refusing to let the abuser win. Dismiss any negative information he or she shares with you.
5. Repeat this affirmation to yourself many times a day. If possible, say it out loud and let you hear a voice telling you: "I have done enough, I am good enough, I am enough." Power builds a high degree of self-esteem, and you will gradually replace the old negative statements that you accept as true, because the abuser often speaks with great authority.
Rebuilding your self-esteem is not a overnight process when you are repeatedly abused by a partner or parent who has a narcissistic personality disorder, but don't give up. Focus on the place where you can build your own life, where you will only attract lover and favorite events, and you will soon find yourself smiling, enjoying inner peace and healthy self-esteem.
Orignal From: Victims of narcissistic abuse - ways to rebuild self-esteem
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